Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

"Paula: You just need to use what God gave you.
Rebecca: My charm and my wit?
Paula: That’s a weird name for your boobs.
Rebecca: My boobs’ names are Bonnie and Clyde. My ovaries names are Hustle and Flow."

Season 1, Episode 10

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: Oh, my God, you have good handwriting.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: You did not get that from me. Your fabulous flair you got from me.
Rory: I also got my deviated septum from you.
Lorelai: Hey, focus on the flair.

Season 1, Episode 3

I also got m deviated septum from my mom!

Gilmore Girls

[Michel is railing at Lorelai for mentioning his eating habits to his doting mother in passing.]

Lorelai: I just assumed, since you gave up carbs a year ago, she knew. 

Michel: [angrily] Yes! Well, you know what happens when you assume?

Lorelai: What?

Michel: I don't know! S-something about a donkey! It's a… stupid American phrase!

NCIS

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You got something?
Abby Sciuto: I had something four minutes ago!
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why didn't you call?
Abby Sciuto: That's not how it works. When I find something, Gibbs immediately walks through the door. Have you forgotten all your training?
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I remembered your Caf-Pow.
Abby Sciuto: Horse shoes and hand grenades, DiNozzo.

Life

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.

The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just like people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.

Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.

The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

~ Jenkin Lloyd Jones

Glee

Sue Sylvester: "It's broccoli. When I showed this to to Brittany earlier she began to whimper thinking I cut down a small tree where a small family of gummy bears lived."

Happy Gilmore

Happy Gilmore: "Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy tap tap taparoo"

One of our favorites when we're doing projects that require hammering nails!