Pretty Little Liars

"You also thought Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was Mexican porn!" ~ Ezra Fitz

Twilight Saga

A comment made on a local article about Eclipse opening in Jackson, MI:
"Twilight is like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores and its billion fans insist you just don't understand." ~ MisanthropicApatheist

I did like the books and will end up seeing all of the movies, but I can still see the humor in this comment!

Jeff Dunham's Arguing With Myself

"Walter: How long've you been married?
Jeff Dunham: Fifteen years.
Walter: You'll see.
Jeff Dunham: See what?
Walter: Remember when you said, "'Til death do us part"?
Jeff Dunham: Yeah.
Walter: Later you'll realize you were actually setting a goal."

Stick It!

"Joanne: [Jealous that some girl-girls are getting attention from some hot guys] What do they have that we don't have?
Wei Wei: Lives.
Mina: Time.
Haley: Boobs.
[Mina and Wei Wei look at their chests]"

Stick It!

"Burt Vickerman: You're popping your clutch, losing traction.
Haley Graham: I'm not popping shit.
Burt Vickerman: Are you sure?
Haley Graham: I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant."

Stick It!

"Gymnastics tells you no. All day long. It mocks you over and over again. Telling you you're an idiot. That you're crazy. If you like running full-speed towards a stationary object, vault's for you. If you like pealing pieces of skin the size of quarters of your hands... bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun then rips, is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy. And floor, are you serious, I mean who doesn't want to parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography? It's delicious. If you like falling, then gymnastics is thee sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees, and your pride! It's a good thing I didn't like falling... I LOVED IT!" ~ Haley Graham

Stick It!

"Elite gymnastics is like, the navy seals, only harder. There are like 2000 navy seals, there are only like, 200 elite gymnasts. Guess that's because there's kids who's rather have a life than spend 6 hours a day training tricks that could kill you. Don't be fooled by the leotards people, the things gymnasts do make navy seals look like wusses. And we do them without a gun." ~ Haley Graham

Stick It!

"[in response to Vickerman's gold-medal promises to several parents] Yeah, um, you've got a lot of people going to the Olympics. Just curious, what country will they be representing? The state of delusion?" ~ Haley Graham

Stick It!

"Frank: Are you kidding me? She's a bitch, dude.
Poot: Dude.
Joanne: What?
Frank: You heard me miss bossy booty, I don't like the way you act.
Poot: Dude, I totally hate you right now. Ahh, see what Frank is really trying to say is um, it would by my honor.
Joanne: You think I'm a bitch?
Poot: [Silence] No... Yeah, kinda I do, but I don't have the problem with it that Frank does. I mean, he's gay.
Joanne: Call me!
Poot: Stalk you!
Poot: Dude, I don't even know you anymore. What's a corsage.
Frank: The universal sign for whichet, whipped.
Poot: Dude, what's so wrong about being whipped? Dude, when is that a bad thing? [pause] Ever.
Frank: Huh, good point."

Post Grad

"Adam Davies: It's 90 degrees out and your feet are freezing.
Ryden Malby: My feet are always cold. I have the feet of an 80-year old man."

(This hits pretty close to home for me since my feet are almost always freezing. ~ Rachel)

Glee

"I'm gonna ask you to stop now, 'cause I'm starting to get embarrassed for you." - Mercedes (the wording might not be exact since I heard it on a commercial for next week's glee. It cracked me up!)

Gilmore Girls

"Now, in planning our traditional first dance, I gave a lot of thought to the song that would represent the next phase in our marriage. The best phase in our marriage, I believe. I went over all the greats – Bennett, Sinatra, Chuck Berry – and a story popped into my head. Now, most of you know my daughter, Lorelai. When Lorelai was three, she went through a period of having chronic ear infections. It was terrible. Screaming all night long, we couldn’t keep a nanny longer than a week. And so, it fell to Emily to sit with her all night long. She tried everything to calm her down. Finally, she found a song that seemed to soothe her. It was a popular song on the radio and it soon became Emily’s favorite. Of course, it drove me crazy – some woman complaining about how she wanted to marry a man named Bill. Not exactly Cole Porter. Emily would tease me, saying, ‘If only your name was Bill, then this could be our song.’ Well, Emily, for tonight, and tonight only, my name is Bill, and this is our song." ~ Richard

Gilmore Girls

"Lorelai: Hey, I should bring steak sauce, right?
Rory: For what?
Lorelai: Pizza.
Rory: I just got back from Italy.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So they'd shoot you in Italy for that.
Lorelai: But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.
Rory: I forgot. Bring on the imperialistic condiments."

Gilmore Girls

"We were gonna go to Atlantic City. We were going to sit at a Blackjack table at 11:59 and order martinis. We were gonna play 21 when she turned 21. Then were were going to buy 21 things. And there's a thing about 21 guys that wouldn't be appropriate since the engagement, but it was a good plan." ~Lorelai

Comedy Central Presents

"Somersaults, that's how I roll." ~ Shane Mauss

The Cutting Edge

"Toe pick!" ~ Kate

Juno

"That ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet." ~ Rollo

Juno

"Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." ~ Mac MacGuff

Juno

"Well, you know, I was thinking I'd just nip it in the bud, before it gets worse, because they were talking about it in health class, how pregnancy, it can often lead to... an infant." ~ Juno

Pessimism

"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised." ~ George Will

Gilmore Girls

[Lorelai and Luke are discussing Rory and her new boyfriend Dean]
"Lorelai: I have to make her understand that I'm okay with the guy thing. 'Cause not talking about guys and our personal lives - that's me and my mom. That is not me and Rory.
Luke: Are you okay with the guy thing?
Lorelai: Yes.
Luke: Really?
Lorelai: Okay-ish.
Luke: That's not okay.
Lorelai: That's okay with an "ish."
Luke: Whatever you say. "

(Ahh, The true reason I add "ish" to the end of everything! ~ Rachel)

Gilmore Girls

"I don't even like kids. They always have jam on their hands. Even when there isn't any jam in the house, they get jam on their hands. I can't deal with jam hands." ~ Luke

My Girl

"Get outta here! And don't come back for five to seven days!" ~ Vada

My Girl

"I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls. Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas I got them a camper and all they wanted to do was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over the cliff." ~ Vada

What am I doing now?

So aside from this one post here, all the posts to this blog will be my favorite quotes from books, movies, TV, magazines, friends and family, etc. Every time, I read or hear a quote I have the urge to add it to my info on facebook and myspace… Let’s just say the list is long and I want to have a place to archive the quotes that make me chuckle or think long and hard (I’m sure it will be way more chuckles than anything). So if you need something to pick you up this will probably be the place to check ;)